Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
