forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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