He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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