Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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