Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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