would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
