You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
