your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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