I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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