David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
