i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
