just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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