His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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