I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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