I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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