Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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