isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My balls are so social today.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
