Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
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I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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