I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize