is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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