We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize