she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
