im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I will pee on everything he values.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
