Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
