Tell her she can't have a vagina
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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