You can't motorboat a personality
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
