shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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