So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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