Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize