I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
