Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
