then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize