Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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