i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Two words: blizzard sex
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