Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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