i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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