No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
