how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
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Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
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I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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