i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
