i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
