When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
