It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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