dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
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His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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