Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
