It's like God shit irony all over that family
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
