Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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