he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
MIDGETS
????
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
