Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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