My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
