Where did you get a picture of my penis
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
