Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
