Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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