I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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