are you still at the devil's house?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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