It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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