I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
