Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
