You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
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well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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