I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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