I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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