Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
