it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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