guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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