Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
