When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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