i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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