hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
