we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am one with the molecules
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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