Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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