Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
